First, folks, I apologize for not posting more frequently. I now have more things to share, so posting will occur, hopefully, more often.


There is a song that Country balladeer George Strait sings periodically. It is called “I Saw God Today,” and it is truly a beautiful song that will bring just about everyone to tears. I know I have shed my share of tears when hearing the song.

So why am I bringing this song up? Well, I saw God the other day, and I thought I would share my experience with you.

Grayson Mae Reed

Grayson Mae Reed

On this particular day, Casey and Patti had taken Rick’s truck to pick up some furniture. Our three-month granddaughter, Grayson Mae was riding in her car seat in the back seat of the truck. Casey backed the truck into our driveway and she and Patti were unloading the furniture into the garage.

I asked if there was anything I could do to help. Patti told me that Grayson was crying in her car seat and could I please try to soothe her some?

I opened the door and saw my granddaughter sitting there in her car seat. There were crystal clear water drops at the edge of her beautiful blue eyes and her mouth was frowning. There may have even been a drop or two beneath her tiny nose; she was upset.

I started talking to her in a gentle, quiet voice, almost whispering. I told her what a beautiful young lady she was, how she was going to break a lot of hearts as she grew, that she would be the source of many wonderful memories from those who had the chance to get to know her, again how beautiful she was and repeated a lot of what I had just told her.

Grayson can see wonder too

Grayson can see wonder too

During these few moments, she kept staring at me, but her expressions kept changing. She stopped crying and for a few moments she seemed to be assessing me. Who was I? Why was I talking the way I was talking? What was I saying? Was I really talking to her? Did I really mean what I was saying?

I kept smiling as I spoke to her and after a few minutes I noticed that she no longer cried, but she was smiling … smiling at me. The look on her face left me breathless. I just stood there in awe of the range of emotions I was seeing on her face.

I saw the face of God, His Son and the Holy Spirit in that face at that moment. It seemed like every bit of knowledge there was on this earth was showing through those eyes. Immediately, she seemed to exude all the red lines from the Bible and show them without saying a word.

I stood there and just watched, my emotions completely overwhelming me as I saw her go from a crying baby to this infinitely radiating beauty who wanted to show just about every emotion at one moment … and she was in control of showing them.

I do feel I saw God that day and am so thankful for that chance. I know that for most of us, we see the spirit of God, His Son and the Holy Spirit at work in sometimes every day things. When I am down here at Stagecoach Trails, here in Buda, I can sit on one of the benches and feel I hear God whispering to me through the limbs and leaves of trees, the grasses and the solitude of so very little noise. He mostly whispers, but sometimes He’s laughing, too. Where do you see God speaking to you?

The expression

The expression “wrapped around her little finger” is not lost on me.

But He’s all around us, every moment of every day. Sometimes His presence is in the face of the small, three-month old baby.

Sometimes, as I meet people, I inevitably get the question of what it is like to live with stage four pancreatic cancer. Am I angry at God? No. Do I feel like a portion of my life has been taken from me? No. Have my dreams been squelched? Maybe. I can’t play golf any more, but I really don’t care. When I can look into the face of my granddaughter and see the face of God I think that is a good tradeoff. I see beauty in places, things and people that I never would have noticed, had I continued to work, remained under strong work-related stress and looked at things differently than I do now. I am thankful for that.

So, I am thankful to God for the blessings and gifts He has given me through the cancer. I don’t think I would have had the opportunity to get reacquainted with my faith had it not been for the cancer diagnosis. I smile every day and am living the life I feel I wanted to live my entire life. And, if I can see the face of God in my granddaughter, Grayson Mae, I don’t think anything can be better than that.


On the health side, I am back on chemo, every two weeks. Smaller dosages of gemcitabine and no abraxane. I have lost weight. No appetite or hunger; consequently a little weaker. I use a cane and walker now. But also as the liver begins breaking down, I accumulate more fluids in my lower abdomen. So from the breastbone up I look like an Auschwitz victim, and from the breastbone down, I look like a seven-months pregnant woman. So I go to the hospital periodically and they drain the fluids.


I look forward to October 1, 2015. Then, I can join an exclusive club. Since I was diagnosed with the stage four cancer in late September, 2010, I have been dealing with this for over four years. Only six percent of patients are still alive after their fifth anniversary. It’s my goal to thank God again for his blessings and gifts on October 1st.


Here is a YouTube video of George Strait’s “I Saw God Today.” I hope you enjoy it. Drop the link below into your URL and it should play.